Sally in the Zen

Confessions of a Befuddled Zen Buddhist


A recent conversation between me and Zen Master:

Zen Master:  You’re looking a bit round.

Me (shocked):  WHAT?!

Zen Master (shrugging):  I’m just saying. 

Okay, I’m always good with constructive criticism from people, most especially Zen Master and Zen Mum.  If it’s a valid observation, I would stew and ponder and worry it until I figured out how I could make myself better than what I was before. 

But round?

Excuse me, but I happen to be voluptuous, thank you very much.

So I stewed. 

And then I pondered.

The thing is, I love being active.  I also love the wonderful endorphins that happen when I keel over from exhaustion.  I really do.

I work out at two gyms, one at work (at a really low fee) and the other off-hours.  I attend regular sessions with very fit and lovely instructors because I have zero motivation doing it on my own.  Zero.  Nada.  Not even.

Okay, let’s put things into perspective first before we go on.  Being a member at two gyms should excite no one.  You gotta use it to lose it, and I usually clock between 3-5 hours a week.  If I can’t do it at work then I do it off-hours.  No biggie.

Then why two gyms?  Three simple reasons, really.

  1. I have no life.
  2. I’m going to hit the big 4-0 soon and supposedly when that happens, it’s all downhill from there. 
  3. I must be ready for my dream dates.  No telling when they’ll happen and it’s always good to be ready.

The key to my workouts is by participating in classes.  I need someone to holler at me, to push me for that extra lunge or that last jump.  I absolutely love their motivational techniques that are inherent with these wonderful instructors.

“Come on, Sally!  Kick your knees up higher!  Tighten your flabby abs!  You can do it!”


“Drop and give me fifty pushups and no on-your-knees crap!”


“If you want that J-Lo butt, you gotta squat all the way down!  Now give me hundred more!”

Thank you, but no.  Thanks for asking though, Teach.

Now I’m round.  After all this, I am round.

Excuse me, please.  I need to go get some cheese curls.

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