Sally in the Zen

Confessions of a Befuddled Zen Buddhist

Why I Blog

Many years ago, I was visiting family in New York City.  While at my grandmother’s house, I made my way to the basement.  In the back of the basement was an impromptu recreational area, with free weights in one place and a computer workstation in another.  But what I was interested in was the PlayStation console that sat on the floor near a small couch nestled in the corner of the basement.

While I was perusing the game deck on the desk, a movement caught my eye.  And it was then that I met Buster, my cousin’s dog.  I don’t remember what kind of dog he was, but he was small, like a terrier.  Maybe he was a terrier.  I had no clue.

In those days, I really wasn’t a dog person.  Cats were my dope, and they still are.  Dogs really didn’t do anything for me. 

But Buster was unlike most dogs I’d come across.  For one thing, he was quite calm.  No yapping or snapping at my feet.  And he looked at me with such knowing eyes.  Maybe he knew that I wasn’t a dog person and he chilled out just for me.  I respected him for that.

For the next few hours, Buster sat with me as I played video games.  And sometimes I found myself talking to him and he would sometimes grunt or snort in response.  At first, he sat a few feet from me, but over time, he inched his way towards me until he sat right next to my feet.  He was a smooth operator.

My brother came down to find me and Buster in the dark, heartily playing PlayStation, completely oblivious that it had turned into evening.  There was a gathering of friends and family topside, and I wasn’t paying it any mind.

“God, you’re so anti-social!”  My brother said as he snapped on the lights.  “You came all the way from Maryland just to sit here and play video games?  Come upstairs!  Socialize!”

I looked at Buster and he looked at me.  I tell you, if I could’ve taken him at that moment, I’d have snatched him up and taken him home with me. 

But instead I gave him a pat on his little head and made my way upstairs.

But what my brother had said stuck with me.  And he was 100% right.  I am at my most happiest in relatively solitary activities, with my usual company being Zen Master and Zen Mum.  So in the subsequent years, I self-reflected and worked on my appalling social skills. 

You’ll be happy to know that they’re still appalling.  But the difference is that now I am at peace with it. 

I am friendly but I still don’t truly socialize.  Making small talk is a big accomplishment for me because I never did.  Sometimes I still find myself struggling with it but I deal.  It’s all about baby steps, right?

And then I started this blog.

I have been a lurker of food blogs, and have been one for years.  I realize now that I am essentially “playing video games alone in the basement” again. 

It’s time for me to go topside again, but this time I wish I had Buster with me.

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  • DC
    August 1st, 2010 18:02
    I do not claim to know what you what you want in terms in "enlightenment". My enlightenment is this "K.I.S.S". KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID! I firmly believe that we are not meant to know. All I know is this: I traveled and EXPANDED my experiences. I don't know what has closed your mind off of the rest of the world .... you weren't that way long ago... you were very open minded then. I don't know why you are "anti-social". I won't lecture you .. but I'll let you experience, live, and let you form your own opinion. Life is grand! For better or worse ... and you know what "enlightened" me? I love food too ... so we're not too far off. Experience the different food in your life and know for yourself what you don't like. I loove Italian, Thai, Indian and anything else that is spicy. I love to bake. I help Eve bake cakes in our spare time. It's our peace. So what is your excuse for living vicariously? Live your own life and experience the different delicious food that is outside of MD!
    • August 1st, 2010 21:16
      You're right! I'll keep your words in mind as I continue to go on my own way. Thanks very much for commenting! You're great!

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